Remember that scene
from the movie “Cars” when Lightning McQueen and all the Radiator Springs cars
get together and cruise down the main drag with digitally rendered neon
glinting off their metallic paint jobs? Last weekend’s 2013 Texas Dream Cruise
was sort of like that…except in the middle of the afternoon…in late June…in
Texas.
Held at the FC Dallas
stadium in Frisco, the Texas Dream Cruise was the largest car show I’ve ever
been to. And the hottest. Trekking across miles of concrete parking lots that
did nothing but radiate more heat didn’t help either.
To give you an idea of
just how big the Texas Dream Cruise is, just think of it like the Disneyland
for good looking cars. Thousands of cars, from classics to a few customs,
filled acres on both sides of the stadium. There were whole parking lots just
for Mustangs and Corvettes and VW Bugs and more. And, like Disneyland, there
were plenty of colorful characters. (The pair of young men trying to out-rev
their respective Mustang engines comes to mind. Or the guy who sported a
replica of Speed Racer’s Mach 5.)
Nerdy
highlight: finding this Hudson Hornet—a gem for anyone who’s in to automotive history,
stock car racing history, or just likes the movie “Cars.” (Paul Newman, you are
the absolute best.)
After
mooning over the Hornet, we found some more cuties and oddities like Isettas
(the Steve Urkel car), MGs and DeLoreans. I was majorly disappointed to find no
flux capacitor in either of the two we saw.
At
this point, I happened to mention to Mr. Man that I was a bit piqued, and
perhaps we needed to head home. Four parking lots and half a mile later, I
realized that I no longer picked up my feet, opting instead to shuffle
haphazardly. Between shallow breaths, I mumbled to Mr. Man that maybe we should
stop at that street corner where the Marty McFly’s girlfriend Jennifer was
handing out “wuh-der.”
The
logical part of my brain knew this was serious. I was exhibiting all the
telltale signs of heat stroke. My vision became tunnel-like and hyper-colorful.
My heart rate was way above normal. I was no longer aware of my arms, and my
legs felt as if they’d been filled with sand. If I fainted now, I would feel no
sensation of falling. Instead, the ground would rush up to meet my face with a
whomp. I hoped the grass was cool.
After
one more mumbled pant about Marty and maybe getting some “wommer” to drink, Mr.
Man practically scooped me up and poured me into the nearest restaurant. Let me
say it now, friends: Don’t ever do anything in Texas in June without having
some water on hand. Never in my life have I been more thankful for air conditioning
and a $1.29 bottle of Dasani...and Mr. Man.
The
next time he wants to go to a car show, I may just stay home with Lightning
McQueen and Doc.
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