Upon rereading the post below, I realize that some ostriches or other two-legged birds (and by extension, ostrich-loving two-legged people) may have taken umbrage with my comment about ostrich upholstery. Rest assured I in no way have it out for ostriches or large, flightless birds on the whole. (Especially rockhopper penguins with their spiky hair and devil-may-care attitude--those guys are badass. P.S. I totally had to Google "penguin with spiky hair" to figure out that they were actually called "rockhopper" penguins. No shame.)
I find that ostriches, despite their lack of sentient brain power (seriously, their brains are the size of peas) have managed to survive long enough for us humans to figure out 1) their hide is really pretty on things like boots and truck seats, 2) their meat is tasty enough that Twisted Root Burger Company will charge me "market price" for an ostrich burger, and 3) those bastards are MEAN. (This may have something to do with my run-in with an ostrich who gut-kicked me when I was a teenager. Okay, it didn't really gut-kick me, but it DID run up to me and stare menacingly while making unholy guttural clucks and calls and flapping in what I can only assume was some sort of dominance display or mating dance. Wait, I think it was an emu. Well, either way, let's not split hairs. A large, flightless, dimwitted raptor-bird nearly attacked me. The end.)
So I guess what I'm really saying is, I'm not sorry to any ostriches. Or emus. Ever.
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